It’s the Gregorian New Year: 01/01/2017! If you are reading this you’ve made it, and that matters because today wasn’t promised to any of us. 2016 will go down as one of the most hexed years of our collective existence, and certainly the crux of a lot of bad shit became more intensified and/or grew roots of deeper proportions. It’s as if everything we thought couldn’t get worse did so, whilst tauntingly saying: “Trick!”—Perpetually proving its true intent. Everyone who we never imagined would betray us ( BLACK People) not only did so, but in process upped their own ante of a knee-growism, that is unfathomable and sickening. A great host of folks who brought Light into this world left us on time, but seemingly too soon… Some left us suddenly and/or tragically, and some even left us on purpose due to being tired of being here. So much has happened that can cause not only angst, but also an understandable pessimism; it has been all encompassing. And yet, from the depths of my soul and the steady cadence of my heartbeat: I feel LIGHT…
The LIGHT of my CREATOR, my MASHIACH, my Ancestors; this LIGHT permeates through me, reassures me; I know great things not yet seen are on the horizon. If you know me, my intense need for truth and realistic expectation, is conjoined to my extreme sensitivity and yielding to the Spiritual. This is why I CAN keep going…Being able to see things in a reality that far surpasses my limited logic; this keeps me steady. Yes, such a connection, such a continuous Spirituality surrounding; it gives me life everlasting that seeps into the right now. Time is illusion, and everything is possible— It ain’t over! This life journey, in this body, in this realm; great things will still find me, and everyone else they are destined to embrace.
The solar based Gregorian Calendar is the most widely used calendar in the world, but it is hardly the sole new year observance on our planet. There are various cultures that still keep time according to their more ancient traditions, and because of my cumulative cultural experience of who I is; I celebrate 2 lunar based new year observances within a Gregorian year… One includes a declaring of spring as the beginning of the physical new year, and the other in Autumn is the beginning of the spiritual new year. I also observe new moons, days of rest, the end of my menstrual cycle, and a few other important shifts in energy; synchronization with the earth and its relation to higher and the highest truths in the omniverse. I feel blessed that my life cycle and awareness thereof includes sacred ritual and observance; requiring that I start anew, refocus, reenergize, reassess, remember, rest; BALANCE.
2017 is a new beginning, and whether you believe in making resolutions or not, understand that everything you do this year will be wrapped around the intention and energy you give off. What does that mean for you as an individual, as a friend, as a family member, as a community member, as the exhalations of the Ancestors? Does it mean anything at all? How can you treat yourself and others better without compromising either? How can you deconstruct meanness and nastiness from your daily dealings? Are you desiring to be surrounded by the wrong people? Surely, what we put out comes back to us, so we must be careful, so much more careful about what we say and what seeds we plant into our own soil & the soil of others.
As for me, I am a BLACK Radical Woman…As much warrioress as I am healer and creator. This interesting concoction of innate being and calling, has oft been hard for me to balance. I’ve always felt like my Ancestors are purposely and perpetually hyping me up (smile)—I am ready to go and get at tyranny when that righteous raging boldness fills my body and soul, and sometimes it is so much bigger than me, which leaves me fearless and active. I also want to assist & nurse everyone and everything around me; giving balm to the broken and hurting spaces I see in others… I love people, and have a tender heart which moves me to action, even when I am very low in spirit myself. But don’t get it twisted, I also don’t play games. I have a low tolerance for all bull shittery in every form and way. All of this is engulfed, and often riding the waves of my creativity and various expressions of artistry.
It wasn’t until the beginning of 2016 that I realized that the warrioress and healer were not in opposition, but rather intimate bosom buddies, that in my case, couldn’t be separated from one another… Both speaking revolutionary LOVE, just in different dialects. In order to be able to do healing work for myself and my communities, it was and still is my normal to: Fight against the spread of tyranny and its toxic exhaust, break fallow ground all around, and get rid of every weed I possibly can before planting or watering seeds—Having the CREATOR bless those seeds at the appointed time to become the healing we all can benefit from. When serving, it was and still is my normal to adorn myself with a “Fuck the system and police” mantle in order to protect the seeds I plant or water; that need to be able to continue to grow without disturbance…There are no contradictions, all is needed. There was and is nothing wrong with the most tender parts of myself being open, watching, listening, willing. There was and still is nothing wrong with the most militant parts of myself protecting and clearing the way for that process. All of this is my normal, but balance sure hasn’t always been…I am forever learning and relearning balance.
It has always been so easy for me to stay in situations longer than I should because I feel for people, or allow myself to be disrespected in movement spaces, in order to move toward a bigger “ultimate goal” of liberation—I now realize that few had/have vision or desire to attain a real all encompassing freedom for BLACK People. Many were and are only concerned with uplifting themselves on the backs of the community, rather than being a part of a collective uplifting that benefits everyone.
Early on in 2016, I realized I had to start to detox myself from these situations; enough was enough. I began to become way more choosy about who I interlock my energy with in freedom work… In my personal life too! I began to stop over exerting myself, stop joining reactionary efforts, and I began to cut toxic people and spaces from my life…A pruning I am still working at whenever I am made aware i’ve missed a spot. ‘Cause honey, being a martyr to my people, when I am still needed here on the planet: To be healthy, to be whole, and to be ready to finish all the work my journey requires of and from me; that imbalance just couldn’t be a thing in my life anymore. BALANCE is the glue that keeps everything in it’s rightful lane, keeps giving souls sane, and allows inward listening to have a clear channel to guide rightly.
Through and despite all the roughness of 2016 in my personal and community life, I have come to grasp a deeper assurance of how to balance, and how to see myself rightly in the midst of my purpose as an individual, and as a member in the collective. I am grateful for growth, and I am grateful that the soil of my being is better prepared for even more fruitful growth. I do not see myself separate from my people. I instead honor the fact that the who that I AM is not supposed to be the who that YOU ARE…We are all supposed to be our authentic selves, and bring all of that beautiful nuance into the storehouses of our collective consciousness and community building—Growing, learning, amending, protecting, dismantling, LOVING…Liberation apart from these choice fruits is impossible, but it is not impossible if we truly want to break free and thrive.
I am a BLACK Radical Wombman, who is a Womanist by innate design. I am personally so tired of us as nuanced BLACK Peoples not wanting to attain a unity that will lead to liberation. I understand that we have so many intra-communal problems, and I also understand that our social justice spaces are so filled with contradiction, that they have become very toxic as well. Homophobia, Transphobia, Misogynoir, Hush Culture, Misandry, Elitism, Clique Mentality and so many other issues plague our community. And yes, I understand the effects of white supremacy on us, how every persons toxicity levels and response thereof vary…However, we have to be self-determining in healing our people. No one else will do it for us, nor should we want them to do that which they are ill-equipped. They can pay reparations, but they cannot heal us; remember this.
The problem I see with our people here in Amerikkka and how we deal with one another; no one wants to listen, no one wants to adjust. Western culture teaches everyone to be selfish and unapologetic about the wrong we do to others. This is reinforced in everything from government to entertainment… Even our “woke” spaces are oft contaminated by this same mentality, because the people within are conditioned by this society—Little effort goes into decolonizing of the mind, heart, soul, spirit through cultural education and empowerment. If the folks in “woke” spaces that are supposed to be leading the community to be engaged to fight systemic oppression, if they display the same systemic societal ills on folks in our community that don’t align with them… Disguising these ills as virtuous and permissible emissions through “they’re wrong, we’re right… they’re bad, we’re good” group think mentality…How is that leadership? How are you gonna guide the rest of the community who are uninformed or bigoted through ignorance to be better and learn better? Wait, but is that your goal…To not compromise marginalized people and issues, whilst being a living embodiment of those truths to the people? If not, why are you in freedom work? Do you only want people just like you free or all BLACK People? Are you willing to not only state a standard, but live it? Are you willing to be the first partaker of doing the right thing, because you can see what others aren’t yet able? Will you humble yourself? Way too many too easily say: “Fuck You!” to whichever group they don’t like or that has disrespected them, when in many(not all) cases that write-off is premature… BLACK Liberation that doesn't minimize the pain and struggle of others in our community; it must include all BLACK People or you simply don’t want it.
Folks want to “critique” and feel their designations immune them from being critiqued back… “Critique” to sound off, without the intention of hearing anyone opposite their opinion… “Critique” but not wanting to dialogue—These are not real critiques by the way, they are narrative control actions of emotionally immature individuals within the collective, who gang up with one another on every side of an argument; meanwhile we aren’t getting free, and it’s so frustrating! Some days I literally feel like giving up, but I do not see myself separate from my people(s) so I just can’t and my inner guidance won’t allow it.
In the case of white supremacy, we must protect ourselves and fight to control our narratives; we owe it and those who benefit from it nothing—This isn’t, however, the way for us to deal with one another as BLACK People toward BLACK People. I understand we can’t work with certain people in our community because they are utter trash, but most of our division is based off disrespect and unbalanced ego that leads to an unrelenting unhinged pride; devoid of revolutionary love, highest truths, and willingness to find a way that isn’t exclusionary. We must find ways to unite around what we have in common, and respect one another’s beautiful differences. The only differences we can’t tolerate are ones that keep us espoused to white supremacy, or anything else harmful to us as a people.…That can no longer be an option.
I now realize that so many do not want unity where it can be found, but rather want to stay divided…Some folks get high off conflict, and some peoples entire personalities and come ups are based off of them being angry. Do not get me wrong, anger is a beautiful expression, yes I said beautiful; yet it is only effective and beneficial in these sorts of situations if it is accompanied by right heart set and wisdom. Otherwise anger becomes a narcotic… Those who dish it out, and those who feed off of it become addicted to its intensity devoid of purpose—Some don’t want to stop getting high even when there is opportunity.
I now realize that so many do not want unity where it can be found, but rather want to stay divided…Some folks get high off conflict, and some peoples entire personalities and come ups are based off of them being angry. Do not get me wrong, anger is a beautiful expression, yes I said beautiful; yet it is only effective and beneficial in these sorts of situations if it is accompanied by right heart set and wisdom. Otherwise anger becomes a narcotic… Those who dish it out, and those who feed off of it become addicted to its intensity devoid of purpose—Some don’t want to stop getting high even when there is opportunity.
There are folks in our community who don’t believe in or accept crucial parts of individuals, which is hella problematic. Folks who demean same sex relationships, folks who demean Abrahamic Faiths, folks who demean single mothers, folks who demean men as all not being shit, folks who demean women as thots and whores sans the men they have relationships with, folks who demean those who choose no form of religion or spirituality, folks who demean folks for so many random things that isn’t anyones business; this prevails amongst us, and of course it is personal and hurtful.
Truth is, we are not going to be close to everybody in our community, but we should have a basic love that says I will look out and fight for you to BE and thrive. There will always be things about people that are not liked by others, and individually we have a right to say who we do and who we do not allow into our close circles…By the way, the difference between a circle and clique is that a circle fosters LOVE, growth, doesn’t envy and protects. Cliques are made of petty people who decide who it is and isn’t acceptable to shit on, a faux love and acceptance based off insecurity…But I digress.
Thing is, every oppressed and/or stereotyped group within our BLACK communities have systems of oppression within them, if we’re willing to be honest—There are levels upon levels of oppression, and we only choose to see and call out certain ones. A few examples: Within LGBT circles, bisexuals are treated like shit. Within Feminist & Womanist circles, clique culture and hatertaion is all around. Within conscious circles, cult like allegiance toward leaders who abuse in various ways, and the demeaning of Women & LGBT is prevalent. So for how long are we going to keep doing this shit? There is a standard we have to set within our communities that far surpasses the standards of the oppressor.
I get that not everyone can or wants to come into the promise land, but I KNOW we have not made the proper effort to do what we can, to facilitate between those who have the heart to amend, humble themselves, and do right by each other. I have been searching my depths, because I realize that we are past a state of emergency, we are truly in stagnantly stale waters…So far away from getting to fresh water, that we are dangerously dehydrated and wasting away.
So what do I propose we do to begin to find those who we can work with all across the board? I propose we need a new beginning in the form of all inclusive reconciliation ceremonies, both locally & then nationally as well. I am not talking about a march, or another capitalistic driven event… I am talking a meaningful kickstart to the work we need to focus on in our communities every single day. I am talking about us mourning what we have lost together, acknowledging what we have done to one another, listening to the needs of each group, and the actions each group needs the community of willing souls to make happen in order for us to unify, so that we can whoop white supremacy’s ass!!!! BLACK Women, BLACK Men, Non-Identifying, Youth, LGBT, Religious, Spiritual, etc…All the bad shit we have done to one another needs to be expressed by those done wrong, and acknowledged by those who have participated whether knowingly or unknowingly. We need to not only apologize for what we have done, but we must also make amends. We must also acknowledge marginalized folks who have had an even tougher road within our communities. In our communities, BLACK Men have male privilege, and that still does not mean they do not have issues of how they have been hurt within our community… Many things and people intersect all over the place. Any space where BLACK Men are not allowed to also speak their heart will not be a true space of healing. This can’t and won’t be a space of arguing, but of true reconciliation. It should only include those from our community who are mature, humble, and ready to begin this process…If you think it’s bullshit, then by all means don’t stop others from building and beginning a healing process…We have to start somewhere, right?
Perhaps this process should start with a delegation of sound minded, truly revolutionary Love filled individuals (unbought and unsold grassroots folk); to come together from every group/marginalization, and mark out the legit concerns of everyone. We need to get this organized and actualized, without incorporating opportunists just because they have visibility…We can’t trust a pure work to horrible hearted and self-serving people. Our unity is what white supremacy fears most, and we have skin folk who purposely disrupt our movements toward unity in various ways. These are just basic ideas, but we need to do something, and rightly so… Quickly but thoroughly. What are your ideas? How could we maybe actualize and further brainstorm this starter concept?
This would be a wonderful start to a sustainable unity, but none of us have to wait for an event, though I believe the ritual would be important. Change starts with us as individuals and spreads from there. Why not start today, on this Gregorian New Year? How can you as an individual deconstruct toxicity in your mind and heart toward people in our community…Are you willing? How can you spread your awareness to others, and then mobilize it? All of us, and I mean all of us; we have work to do; both individual and communal! Some have more than others, but another persons work load does not exempt any of us from the fact that we have plenty of work to do on our own…Are we willing? As for me, I am willing to do what must be done to be an embodiment of revolutionary LOVE in the earth…I want to grow, amend, be good to myself & to others without compromise…I want to fulfill my purposes in this life, and plant seeds that grow into beautiful plants that will sustain generations to come. How about you?
A blessed & right energy driven Gregorian New Year to you all!
In Unashamed Négritude & Revolutionary Love,
ORIT
Copyright © ORIT 2017
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