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| ORIT |
I’m sitting here sipping coffee strong enough to salute my Ethiopian Heritage, whilst signaling the invigorating bluish-green jazz notes of my African living in Amerikkka(African-American) tradition; they unapologetically fuse into my current reality on this side of life. I am uber chill right now, relaxed… Listening to Les Nubians, Indie Arie, Floetry, Dwele and other like-vibe gods and goddesses in Neosoul & R&B frequency; adjusting the volume ever so slightly, so that I can listen to my thoughts as they hit the laptop screen. I must admit, smooth jams like these have me a bit distracted… But don’t worry, I will now zero in on our current convo via the written word, from my heart to yours. I too want to explore what’s going on inside of me—Thoughts and feelings and convictions that I will sincerely visit as I write.
I enjoy blogging because it allows me to visit the roundabouts in my own mind; that I usually don’t make the time to thoughtfully entertain, in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Blogging allows me to share with you and myself in an authentic way; I don’t censor what wants to flow out, I tell important truths, I share strategy, I illuminate missed perspectives; hopefully this authentic working of words and messages and truths aids you in your journey, as the process certainly aids me in my own trek, on this thing we call a life.
So, let’s get right to it… I have been accidentally celibate since 2010. I am not a saint, I am not a guru, I am not an extraordinary person possessing something that can’t be cultivated in any willing individual. Yes, it has almost been 7 years since I’ve had “carnal knowledge” with another…LOL—And I truly did not intend for this to happen this way, or for this long…Like, really Universe?
So… Am I doing this for spiritual reasons? Yes, I AM… But not in the way you may think. My celibacy is accidental because celibacy wasn’t the goal; but rather deciphering who I should be with based off: Discerning the energy between myself and another, the purpose, and if its time…That was/is the focus. I did not ever say to myself: I am not having sex again until I get married. I did however say to myself: I cannot afford to exchange energy with Maliciously Low-Vibing folk, and then become tied/entrapped to it in compromising ways. I chose this as an act of self love and soul nourishment… Preservation and healing… A fence that always makes me tune myself into the WISDOM of SPIRIT, before I open the gate. Of course, to realize that this way of looking at myself in relation to my Divine Feminine, sexual and intimate energies; I had to experience the great pain and struggle of being ensnared with those I was not supposed to be exchanging energy with in the first place—Had I heeded the warnings.
Maliciously Low-Vibing Energy does not let go of its prey easily, so avoiding it is one of the keys to attempting to stay as balanced as possible. This is why I understand sex after marriage is an ideal concept in some ways, but it lacks depth and focus on energy discernment. Focusing on being careful about the energy we are exchanging with others; this will open us up to our inner leading and SPIRIT, and it will also open us up to the other less explored reasons and needs to powerfully exchange energy in a sexual &/or intimate way. It will cause us to pay attention to early signs in people, that we oft allow ourselves to overlook, because we want what we want when we want it. Energy discernment will also prevent us, if we will discipline ourselves in this way, from a lot of heartache. I didn’t say it wouldn’t be challenging…I am, by nature, a very sensual person so I get it’s challenging. I’ve just realized, through experience, that my peace and preservation of my being, is far more important than a good fuck.
I know many religions push waiting for marriage for sex, and I am not saying this is bad at all; though few accomplish it. I would like to be married one day, but marriage does not set the standard on this topic for me, which I will further explore as we continue. Some who are burdened with having to remain virginal, even go so far as to only do anal sex before marriage, or have a plastic surgeon make them a new hymen in order to keep up with “virginal appearances.” If marriage leaves out the discernment of energy health and compatibility, what are we really dealing with here? *sips coffee*
I do think that many just don’t understand how the CREATOR sees sexuality, intimacy, and sensuality; because of the indoctrination of human biases, and the refusal to study for oneself. Just look at, for example, the burden of “honor” being placed solely upon women and girls… Just look at, for example, the limited perspectives folks have about the many amazing reasons that sex and intimacy is here for us to utilize, and to enjoy outside of just procreation. Also, many people do not acknowledge that a lot of what they believe in relation to religion and sex; is based off of European influences, misogyny, and purposeful mistranslations. Religions stemming from the Tanakh(The Bible) come from culture(s) that are absolutely NOT European. Yet the European version is what prevails and miseducates in many ways.
There is no Hebrew word for fornication, only adultery. Fornication is a Greek/Christian concept. In those ancient days, if a man had sex with a woman who he had not gone through the formal betrothal process with, he would have to pay a fine to her father, and take the girl as a wife or concubine. Ancient Hebraic Women did have the right during the official betrothal ceremony only, to agree to the marriage and to make demands that would be placed in a marriage contract (Ketubah). If a man raped or had sex with a girl outside of there being an official agreement, she was obligated to marry the man without the benefit of negotiations. Yes, there were wedding celebrations—7 day feasts, but the marriage was considered complete only when the cloth with the woman’s hymen blood was waved before the people to prove she was a virgin…Cute, right?(that was sarcasm)
Let’s explore this a bit further in the story of Ya’acov, Rachel & Lay’ah—A Threesome of sorts. Ya’acov(Jacob) loved Rachel and wanted to marry her, and her father verbally agreed to this. Problem is, Rachel was younger than her sister Lay’ah(Leah), and older sisters married first in their culture. So their father Laban tricked Jacob on their wedding night, and made Lay’ah(who was veiled according to tradition) actually sneak in Rachel’s place. Jacob didn’t realize he had sexed the wrong sister until the light of morning. His having sex with Lay’ah made them legally married.
Jacob did not love Lay’ah, but was now legally obligated to her. Eventually Laban let Jacob marry Rachel too… The one Jacob was most in sync with, the one he loved, the one he was energetically in tuned with. Jacob and Rachel had a totally complimentary exchange in energy, desire, purpose…But Lay’ah, she wasn’t loved. Think what that was like for her. They were “married” legally…She was the first wife with the most benefits in the natural, but realistically and spiritually, Lay’ah was in the worst situation. I imagine that every time Jacob went to exchange energy with her during sex, his disdain for her reenergized itself throughout her entire being. He slept with her out of obligation. This had to be super toxic.
The story tells us that the only solace that Lay’ah had, was that she was blessed with fertility. Rachel, the most loved one, struggled in this area. Eventually though, Rachel did have two children, and she was happy and blessed because she was loved by their husband whether she gave birth( a very important thing in those times) or not. Jacob even favored Rachel’s children above the children Lay’ah gave him. Can you imagine being in such a situation? Think of all the healing and pleasure Lay’ah never experienced through sex, and the lack of intimacy she must have craved. Think of all of Lay’ah’s inward trauma having to lose her virginity in such a tricky way— I truly shutter. Every time Jacob entered Lay’ahs sacred temple, she took on his hatred in energetic form…Can you imagine? Lay’ah had no choice, but most of us do. I say “most” because there are still women and girls being forced into marriages in 2017…May they be freed from this torment—Ashe’!
Most of us are able to, without outside influence; discern who we should be entangled with, and we should not be entangled with. We can discern what is best and most compatible with our inner Divine, and what is not if we so choose. Funny thing is, many times we choose to be Lay’ah ( no matter gender/orientation) for so many reasons; mostly stemming from insecurity, fear of being alone, and just wanting to have some sex that physically satisfies; even if it spiritually diminishes. There doesn’t even have to be third party complicating things like the one in the story. It could just be that we are compromising our inward sacred to temporarily fill a hole within us—Settling until we find who is truly meant for us to exchange energy with, not realizing we’re dwindling our own self esteem every time we go against this inner unction and warning to not proceed.
But say, let’s not get it twisted… Many people marry the wrong somebody because they are not paying attention to the vibrational signs being sent on every level. This happens in non-marriage romantic relationships as well. Yes beloved, being married will not automatically save us from the wrong energy exchange… People get with &/or marry the wrong somebody everyday; sometimes a few different wrong somebodies in a lifetime. No shade, but what if we paid closer attention in the beginning to our intuition, and believed the energy coming from the other person when it presented itself—Whether it is compatible, vampire-ish, or in need of a bridge before intimate exchange can occur…What if? What if a relationship didn’t last,YET there was inward evidence in both souls, that it was the right exchange for the time that it was, and that going separate ways in goodwill is the fruit of that shared truth? What if??? This is why I feel we shouldn’t use marriage as the marker of doing it “right” in this area…There is so much more required.
I have found that I have to be careful in my energy exchange, in sexual and intimate situations…Both can get me caught up in all the wrong ways if I am not taking in everything I am being shown. You don’t have to physically touch someone to touch their soul or exchange your energy wth them. Romantic intimacy has many levels and expressions, and on its deeper levels, it can be mind blowing.
Look, I had a situation that woke me up to this realization about energy discernment, and my carelessness of it. I was in a situation where the man I loved with my whole heart and I were deeply intimate but not sexual…The intimacy was the strongest I have ever experienced, yet the energy exchange was very very off. It wasn’t until much later that I realized that the energy he was exchanging with me was l Maliciously Low-Vibing… So low-vibing that is was detrimental for me to take in. Sometimes you may not realize that is what is happening, but it is all the same. Exchanging with Maliciously Low-Vibing Energy left me feeling depleted, sad, lonely, and vibrationally disempowered.
Focusing on energy discernment; this is more thorough to me because it will prevent me from going too deep with the wrong people. Sex and intimacy with another soul has many beautiful reasons and benefits; which is why I find high truth in being careful with whom I exchange energy with. In the same way certain men have sperm that will throw of the ph of certain women’s vagina; so it is with certain energies being exchanged with your own; different ones will affect you differently and its imperative to pay attention from the beginning to avoid unnecessary trouble and heartache.
So you may be wondering what exactly is Maliciously Low-Vibing Energy? I mean none of us are flawless, right? True, none of us are flawless, and we all have places we don’t vibe our highest; that doesn’t mean you or I am an overall Maliciously Low-Vibing Person. Maliciously Low-vibers are different in that they are so energetically in disarray, and spiritually and mentally clogged up; their overall energy is toxic enough to change another’s inward frequency for the worse; feeding off the higher vibe which is probably what attracted them in the first place. It’s a selfish energy that is incapable of truly loving. Low-Vibers usually manifest by way of: Your gas lighters, your clandestine manipulators, your passive aggressive’s, your blatantly aggressive’s, your abusers, and your control freaks. Pay attention to what they say and do from the beginning; don’t discount what they show you. These are not people you want to exchange powerful intimate energies with… Trust me, I’ve learned this the hard way.
The exchange in sexual &/or intimate situations should be energetically mutually beneficial, even if in different ways. Even if a partner is needing a sexual/intimate healing experience centered around them at certain times; vampiring will not occur…Even if one partner is giving more in particular situations because their partner is in a low place or needing more from them; vampiring will not occur. Maliciously Low-Vibers will become energized from exchanges, and leave the other person in complete disarray, whilst not caring they’ve done so. Maliciously Low-Vibers are not to be confused with normal differences folks have in relationships… You will fight and fall out sometimes with a soul mate even, but its should never be a selfish/vampire type affect on just you. If you are a mostly higher frequency individual, and exchange energy with a Maliciously Low-Viber, you will catch some of their toxicity; which may manifest in you differently that it does in them. It may seemingly have a more severe affect on you than it does them. If not aware that this is a thing, it can start a cycle of miserable that leaves you undone and out of balance long after you finally break free.
So check this out, I have also had a sexual experience with someone that was for healing purposes… It was meant to be, it had to happen… It just wasn’t a long term relationship… It wasn't supposed to be. It had a purpose, a season. The exchange of energy left both of us in a better place holistically, and it was Divine. These complexities in my experiences has taught me so very much about energy, timing, listening, openness, and heeding warnings when they are blatantly waving in my face.
It’s been so long, as I stated at the beginning of this blog, since I have engaged sexually or intimately with someone, simply because I have not met anyone who has been worthy of the experience, and I am ok with that… I am not going crazy in the wait, if that is what you’re wondering. When the times comes, it comes. I very much want my life partner, I feel that may be up next, but I will be very discerning and pay attention when it manifests… Like I said, I had no idea that there would be such a gap, such an elongated celibacy…I believe that SPIRIT knows why, and I am thankful to see that self mastery in this area is possible. I’m tired of it though, real talk… I’m ready for deep intimacy. I also feel like because this has been what I have had to endure, I am protected in a way—I don’t have a lot temptations coming my way, which helps… Anything less than soul nourishing exchange is not good for me, so I am enough for now. This could change so quickly or maybe not…It just depends on destiny and appointed time; I’ll wait because the wait has been a loyal friend. There are consequences when I haven’t been careful, or didn’t realize I needed to be careful in this way; hence the sparked intention of sacred carefulness unto myself, that I now carry as a beautiful burden to bear…For a while.
Sex & intimacy are powerful forces that can intertwine you with another in ways that benefit both on so many levels. To reiterate, intimacy does not have to include sexual intercourse; but it can be just as powerful. This is kind of random… Ok real random, but I know some like to engage in sexual orgies. No judgement here, but I’m curious… I would be very interested to know if those who engage have found these experiences to be healing or high vibing after the orgasms? What does it feel like emotionally and spiritually after everyone is done? Do you feel good about yourself and experience? Please school me on your experiences below if you feel comfortable. I’m not interested in joining one, but I do wonder if folks honestly feel it’s a beneficial experience after the climax?
If you exchange energy with someone who just takes from you, and replaces what they take with their Maliciously Low-Vibing Energy; imbalance is inevitable. I have found that Maliciously Low-Vibers often become the shot caller in the relationship and feel great, whilst I began to feel heavy, low, depressed. This sort of exchange, believe it or not, has made me want to stay when I know shouldn’t. Even when treated bad, or just not how I should be treated; I didn’t want to let go…Christians call this a “soul tie” which is very accurate—It’s as if subconsciously I wanted to hold on to what I gave away, which is why I felt I couldn’t let it go. Breaking free of this can take a while, and the healing even longer. It was a set back each time I let this happen to myself…There were signs, there was inner leading warnings, but I ignored those and became entangled in unbalanced energy, that I didn’t want to outright leave alone at first.This is my experience at least, and it took me a while to figure out that this is what was actually happening to me. Can anyone relate?
Sex and intimacy is beautiful…It is so much bigger than pleasure and procreation. We are beings who vibe around energy… We are energy. Energy frequency dictates whether we can be balanced to carry on our daily lives, and be in tune to receive what we must do in this life. Think about how job related relationships thrive off the right balance and exchange of energy…If that is easily seen, surely our more intimate exchanges need to be closely monitored by us, for us. If we protect our projects and business ventures from folks we don’t vibe with, why are we so careless with our more powerful intimate exchanges? Something to think about…
In Unashamed Négritude & Revolutionary Love,
ORIT
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